2018 Diddler Cup Racing Series
Dates July 14, 2018 - TBD
Sport Stock Car Racing
Game Used NASCAR Racing 2003
Format Points Championship
Participants 32
Matches Played 7 of 22
Diddler Cup series
2017 2018 2019

The 2018 Diddler Cup Racing Series is the second season of the Diddler Cup Racing Series, a stock car racing to come to IRM.

The season begins on July 14, 2018 at Diddler Motor Speedway in South Tucson, Arizona, and concludes on DATE TBD at Scorch's Pretty Fucking Good Racetrack in Santa Monica, California.

The defending champion is Jean-Paul Henry, who returns in the #40 Chevy Prizm, sponsored by Ludger Beer Bombs.

Commentary Team

  • Chip Chapman (Bryan) - Veteran play by play racing announcer
  • "Lightning" Lloyd Shivers (RJ) - Former South Tucson short track champion

Special Guests

  • Beaumont Jenkins (Caveman) - President of the Wooba Bally Fan Club

Format changes

The 2018 season is the first to introduce racing teams. This season features 10 teams of two or three cars, plus five drivers who are operating independently.

Additionally, the series format has changed. The season is made up of 22 races, with the first 14 races making up a "regular season". After this, 16 drivers will qualify for the "playoffs", which is the last 8 races. (To be clear, all 32 drivers will race in all 22 races, whether they qualify or not.)

Qualification for the playoffs is awarded to every driver who wins one of the first 14 races of the season. The remaining spots are joined by the two win-less drivers with the highest point totals.

Each round of the playoffs will include a race at one track not featured in the first 14 "regular season" races, with the exception of the final Championship race. The remaining 5 races will be selected from the list of regular season tracks during the season.

Teams and Drivers

Manufacturer Team No. Driver Sponsor
Dixie Wimmer Inc.9Stumpy LaneGumBooze
40Jean-Paul HenryLudger Beer Bombs
51Richard BloodBOXAWYNE
SlapDong Corporate Racing15Kevin Boughner-PillmanDongerex InjectiPen
99DIRK TanakaSlapMart
(Independent)8Jeff Gordon the HorseGUNK
38Jeff ChineseJeff's Chinese
69Morris MayfieldNICE
Matryoshka Inc.1Vitaly KryptovGreybits
2Nikolai the Soviet Driving BearRUSSIAN BEARS 2 U
90Petrol TopovDmitri's Russian Roulette Laser Tag
South Tucson Youth Motorsports13542 NormanFlorida Georgia Lime
28Ennio SporiniWall To Wall Salve
60Big Daddy ThibodeauxTucsonade
ATF/Bureau Racing21Cobb
27Agent Toby KeithThroat Candy Tobacco Lozenges
47Joe-Jon WinchesterJust Guns
Sbubby Mortports00Paul WalkerNihilist Arby's
11Smiley van VuurenKFC "I Ate The Bones"
55Bucky DewshineTaco Baco
War Machine Racing4Giaccomo GiaccomoKISS
35Paul AlcoholBathhouse Jim's Bathtub Gin
(Independent)41Jim BlossomsPlasma Train
(Adjective) Foods81Fat DarrylAll The Ham
83Doug PorkGood Gravy
HTE BASMET Racing32Rickie WaltonTemecula Dirt
75El Matador Toto RosannaAir Supply
(Independent)103Wooba BallyHugger Oranges
Most Glorious Motorsports10Mr. Naga's Most Glorious DriverMost Glorious Mr. Naga/KUMITE
22Bowie JessupHCL
33Reverend PastorchavezYes!


No. Race Title Track Date
1 Beefis 300 Diddler Motor Speedway, South Tucson, Arizona July 14, 2018
2 Tucsonade Dehydration Grand Prix The Actual Roads of South Tucson, South Tucson, Arizona July 15, 2018
3 A "Daytona" "500" Richard Petty Driving Experience, Daytona Beach, Florida July 19, 2018
4 We Put a Bat in Everybody's Car 200 Stoney Roberts Demolition Raceway, Dothan, Alabama July 22, 2018
5 Dyslexia Cares 005 Alternate Right Turn Speedway, Stone Mountain, Georgia July 29, 2018
6 300 Miles of Failure Piles The Crocodile Mile, Okefenokee Swamp, Florida August 5, 2018
7 Florida Man 400 Crystal Meth Speedway August 10, 2018
8 Akron Accident Prevention 500 WCW Hog Wild 1996 Speedway at Sturgis, Sturgis, South Dakota TBD
9 Ainsley Harriott 250 The Roundabout by Yes, Fawkham, England TBD
10 Toxic Masculinity 300 Too Far Speedway, Tulsa, Oklahoma TBD
11 Cinnafist 500 Strong Style King's Roadway, Tokyo, Japan TBD
12 The Notorious 187 Enjoy Stock Car Racing Ironically Speedway, Brooklyn, New York TBD
13 ReShart Code Brown Pants-Shitter 300 Die Poopenhosen, Durchfall, Germany TBD
14 TEXAS: The Race Actually TEXAS Motor Speedway, How Did They Let Us Do This, We Have A Driving Horse For Crying Out Loud, Fort Worth, TEXAS TBD
GumBooze Pointless Wreck-stravaganza Inconveniently Far From A Hospital Speedway, Scenic Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania TBD
Playoffs - First Round
15 Covergirl 500 RuPaul's Drag Strip, Boystown, Illinois TBD
16 Nihilist Arby's Endless Monotonous Loop Desolate Ellipse, Hell, Michigan TBD
Playoffs - Second Round
18 Parts Unknown 300 Those Two Pit Road Officials From The Stone Mountain Race Memorial Speedway, Langhorne, Pennsylvania TBD
Playoffs - Semifinal Round
21 The Proclaimers' I Would Walk 500 ABBA: The Racetrack, The City of Europe TBD
Playoffs - Championship Round
22 Totally Nude 500 Scorch's Pretty Fucking Good Racetrack, Santa Monica, California TBD

Season Summary

Race Reports

Race 1: Beefis 300
The defending 2017 champion, Jean-Paul Henry, started on the pole, and led the first 15 laps of this 100-lap race before falling back into the lead pack. From there, Paul Alcohol led for the remaining 85 laps, holding off challenges from Paul Walker and Joe-Jon Winchester, to win the race.

Race 2: Tucsonade Dehydration Grand Prix
Richard Blood started on the pole, currently leading all drivers in Diddler Cup history with 4 career pole awards. However, it was Jeff Gordon The Horse that hit the start/finish line at the green flag to bring this race to a start. On lap 1, a small pack of 6 cars, led by two Matryoshka, Inc. drivers, Vitaly Kryptov and Petrol Topov, raced to the front and opened up a 5-second lead on the field. Joe-Jon Winchester, Rickie Walton, and rookie Bucky Dewshine followed the duo, along with Ennio Sporini who couldn't keep up after one lap, but ultimately, the breakaway was reeled in by the rest of the field. Cars started falling off, as Big Daddy Thibodeaux and Winchester spun out on a dangerous turn, making contact and sending them to pit road. Leading the race before pitting because a carousel, as Giaccomo Giaccomo, Wooba Bally, and Mr. Naga's Most Glorious Driver all led a lap before moving to pit road. Jeff Chinese retired from the race on Lap 8 of 12, after running into the back of Giaccomo Giaccomo. Reverend Pastorchavez would take the lead with 5 laps to go, only to lose it to Paul Alcohol for one lap before falling back off the pace. With 3 laps to go, four cars battled it out. Pastorchavez and Bowie Jessup from Most Glorious Motorsports battled with Richard Blood and Stumpy Lane of Dixie Wimmer Inc. On the second to last lap, the pair of MGM drivers made their attack, leaving the DWI cars in the dust. Pastorchavez and Jessup battled mildly on the final stretch, but Reverend Pastorchavez took the win over teammate Bowie Jessup, with Lane and Blood taking 3rd and 4th, holding off Paul Alcohol in fifth.

Race 3: A "Daytona" "500"
Giaccomo Giaccomo started on the pole, and brought the tightly contested field of drivers to the green flag. As the 32 cars built up speed, the two predominant lines became three and four wide, especially coming off of Turn 3. A total of 15 different drivers led the race, which was shortened to 56 laps due to the whole trespassing thing. As the laps dwindled down, green flag pit stops opened up a split in the field, with the top 10 drivers opening up a 7-second gap from the field. However, at lap 49, a caution came out with little explanation, as no cars wrecked or were off the pace. As all cars visited pit road under green flags, the field condensed for a 3-lap shootout at the restart. Rookie Cobb Salad, who led the most laps, including the ones under caution, drove like a veteran to hold off charges from Big Daddy Thibodeaux, Petrol Topov, and Morris Mayfield, to keep his lead, winning the checkered flag and the race.

Race 4: We Put A Bat In Everyone's Car 200
Bucky Dewshine started on the pole, and led for the first 40 laps of this chaotic 70-lap race on the slippery 0.4-mile dirt oval. Crashes were aplenty as cars taking the high line would get loose and slide up at Turn 3, aptly named "Batshit Corner". Of note, Ennio Sporini on lap 21 was flipped over, righted, and never pitted to repair. The lead changed four times, with five drivers earning the 5 bonus points: Richard Blood, Petrol Topov, Rickie Walton, and Mr. Naga's Most Glorious Driver, along with pole sitter Dewshine. Richard Blood's bat apparently gummed up his camshaft and, as he was leading in lap 49, was forced to end his race early. With four laps to go, Rickie Walton, holding off challenges from Topov, Mr. Naga's Most Glorious Driver, and DIRK Tanaka, spun out on Batshit Corner, but remained on the race track. His delay shrunk the gap between first and second, but did not do enough to keep the Temecula Dirt car from winning the race.

Race 5: Dyslexia Cares 005
Giaccomo Giaccomo started on the pole, along with Vitaly Kryptov. This was Giaccomo's 2nd pole this season already. The pack of 32 cars made it only 3 laps of the 61-lap race before disaster struck. While fighting for the lead, Giaccomo's #4 KISS Ford and Kryptov's #1 Greybits Dodge made contact, sending both cars tumbling up the side of the track, with Kryptov's car getting airborne until it landed square on the windshield of DIRK Tanaka's #99 Slapmart Chevy, bouncing and taking all 3 cars out of the race. During the caution, the first of 3 in the race, Kevin Boughner-Pillman and El Matador Toto Rosanna made contact and crashed into the wall while trying to catch up to the pace car. During this wreck, Reverend Pastorchavez had spent most of the race in the pits, only to return after the caution and spin out and crash at lap 11. Attrition was the theme of the race, as drivers dropped like flies, and 542 Norman's #13 Florida Georgia Lime Dodge left the race, the only retiring driver not due to a wreck. Oh, did we mention that Pastorchavez's wreck didn't bring out a caution? Yeah. They said fuck that. With 25 drivers still on the track, the field dwindled down even more, as lap 19 brought about a second caution, involving Big Daddy Thibodeaux, who saw the worst of it, ending his race, but also Wooba Bally, Rickie Walton, Doug Pork, Fat Darryl, Paul Alcohol, and Nikolai the Soviet Driving Bear. With 21 drivers left, and 3 trailing off the back, 18 drivers pushed forward with 40 laps still to go. Things turned tragic, then hilarious, then tragic, and then hilarious again, as Cobb Salad and Jeff Chinese wrecked on lap 31, careening into the pits and taking out the pit lane official. Cobb Salad was able to keep it together and stay in the race, but Chinese would end up a lap down with no yellow flag. Not long after, the tragic-hilarious cycle continued at lap 39, with a caution once more, this time taking out Stumpy Lane, who made contact with Doug Pork, also involving Morris Mayfield, and Agent Toby Keith, who continued to plow into Lane, taking him out of the race. With 20 laps to go, a pack of 11 cars battled for the win, trading the lead, until Paul Walker and Joe-Jon Winchester pushed to the front, with Petrol Topov, Jeff Gordon The Horse, and Jim Blossoms not far behind challenging. However, ultimately it was Winchester who had the speed coming out of the turns to push forward and pass Walker on the final lap to win the race, his 3rd career win and first of the season.

Race 6: 300 Miles of Failure Piles
Bucky Dewshine started on the pole, which was the 2nd pole this season for the rookie in the #55 Taco Baco Ford. However, Giaccomo Giaccomo, on the outside of the front row, found the stronger line quickly and rocketed past Dewshine to lead the first lap of the race. With Rickie Walton and Joe-Jon Winchester, two drivers who have already qualified for the playoffs, within reach, the #4 KISS car held the lead until Lap 34, starting the first of a set of green flag pit stops. However, as the leading group of drivers reached pit road, a caution came out on Lap 38 due to a crash involving Nikolai the Soviet Driving Bear and Paul Walker. With the restart, Vitaly Kryptov took the lead for the #1 Greybits team, and held onto that lead until the second set of green flag pit stops, at Lap 75 of the 120-lap race. However, just as this happened, Rickie Walton bumped the wall heading into the pits, and slammed his car directly into the divider, bringing out another caution. With the lead swapping around due to the yellow flag, the restart came with 42 laps to go, and Petrol Topov led the race in the #90 Dodge Stratus, after initially starting at the back of the field. After building a 5-second lead over the rest of the field, the final laps became a pit road strategy battle, as the leader had to make a quick stop with 6 laps to go. However, with Jim Blossoms leading the race, followed by Morris Mayfield, the leaders needed to pit as well, and the field cycled through once more, with Petrol Topov regaining the lead with 3 to go and held on to win the race.

Race 7: Florida Man 400
Race scheduled for August 10, 2018.

Race 8: Akron Accident Prevention 500
Race scheduled for TBD.

Race 9: Ainsley Harriott 250
Race scheduled for TBD.

Results and Standings

Race Results

No. Race Pole Winner Race Winner
1 Beefis 300 Jean-Paul Henry 35 Paul Alcohol
2 Tucsonade Dehydration Grand Prix Richard Blood 33 Reverend Pastorchavez
3 A "Daytona" "500" Giaccomo Giaccomo 21 Cobb Salad
4 We Put a Bat in Everybody's Car 200 Bucky Dewshine 32 Rickie Walton
5 Dyslexia Cares 005 Giaccomo Giaccomo 47 Joe-Jon Winchester
6 300 Miles of Failure Piles Bucky Dewshine 90 Petrol Topov
7 Florida Man 400 Stumpy Lane 60 Big Daddy Thibodeaux
8 Akron Accident Prevention 500
9 Ainsley Harriott 250
10 Toxic Masculinity 300
11 Cinnafist 500
12 The Notorious 187
13 ReShart Code Brown Pants-Shitter 300
14 TEXAS: The Race
GumBooze Pointless Wreck-stravaganza
15 Covergirl 500
16 Nihilist Arby's Endless Monotonous Loop
17 TBD
18 Parts Unknown 300
19 TBD
20 TBD
21 The Proclaimers' I Would Walk 500
22 Totally Nude 500

Driver Standings

Pos Driver 1234567891011121314 1516171819202122Pts
1#90Petrol Topov1820*32*3*1**24 1003
2#33Reverend Pastorchavez201**1815265*5* 920
3#47Joe-Jon Winchester330*16*301*8*6* 918
4#55Bucky Dewshine15228*6**6237* 917
5#51Richard Blood6420*32*7*1011* 910
6#99DIRK Tanaka2199*330172* 906
7#11Smiley van Vuuren112126*51294* 905
8#00Paul Walker21015*212**3216* 894
9#69Morris Mayfield2974817*228 890
10#13542 Norman7156*11273*25 889
11#40Jean-Paul Henry4*6112513*12*26* 884
12#22Bowie Jessup142101881932* 854
13#32Rickie Walton1611121*2229*13 854
14#27Agent Toby Keith232657141414* 848
15#35Paul Alcohol1**5*1427152229 839
16#81Fat Darryl52519*1219721* 838
17#41Jim Blossoms272413*205*4*20 833
18#10Mr. Naga's Most Glorious Driver3012*294*9*1323* 812
19#21Cobb Salad28271**2811*1812* 801
20#103Wooba Bally1723*25*1724*163* 797
21#83Doug Pork258231316269* 791
22#28Ennio Sporini10187*19103027 789
23#60Big Daddy Thibodeaux312822325241* 772
24#82Harry Gunt261622918*2119* 760
25#4Giaccomo Giaccomo1319*28*103128*8** 759
26#8Jeff Gordon, The Horse191724264*2022 759
27#1Vitaly Kryptov1229301632*11*10* 737
28#9Stumpy Lane83313121*2730 707
29#38Jeff Chinese93221*24202518* 706
30#2Nikolai the Soviet Driving Bear2231171423*3115* 692
31#15Kevin Boughner-Pillman2414322228631 675
32#75"El Matador" Toto Rosanna321327*29291517 660

A * indicates the driver led at least one lap during the race, for an additional 5 bonus points. A second * indicates the driver led the most laps during the race, for 5 bonus points in addition to the previous 5 points.

Manufacturers' Standings

Pos Manufacturer WinsPoints

Playoff Grid

Pos Driver Wins
1#90Petrol Topov1
2#33Reverend Pastorchavez1
3#47Joe-Jon Winchester1
4#32Rickie Walton1
5#35Paul Alcohol1
6#21Cobb Salad1
7#60Big Daddy Thibodeaux1
8#55Bucky Dewshine0
9#51Richard Blood0
10#99DIRK Tanaka0
11#11Smiley van Vuuren0
12#00Paul Walker0
13#69Morris Mayfield0
14#13542 Norman0
15#40Jean-Paul Henry0
16#22Bowie Jessup0

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