FANDOM


DCRS
2018 Diddler Cup Racing Series
Dates July 14, 2018 - TBD
Sport Stock Car Racing
Game Used NASCAR Racing 2003
Format Points Championship
Participants 32
Matches Played 15 of 22
Diddler Cup series
2017 2018 2019

The 2018 Diddler Cup Racing Series is the second season of the Diddler Cup Racing Series, a stock car racing to come to IRM.

The season begins on July 14, 2018 at Diddler Motor Speedway in South Tucson, Arizona, and concludes on DATE TBD at Scorch's Pretty Fucking Good Racetrack in Santa Monica, California.

The defending champion is Jean-Paul Henry, who returns in the #40 Chevy Prizm, sponsored by Ludger Beer Bombs.

Commentary Team

  • Chip Chapman (Bryan) - Veteran play by play racing announcer
  • "Lightning" Lloyd Shivers (RJ) - Former South Tucson short track champion

Special Guests

  • Beaumont Jenkins (Caveman) - President of the Wooba Bally Fan Club

Format changes

The 2018 season is the first to introduce racing teams. This season features 10 teams of two or three cars, plus five drivers who are operating independently.

Additionally, the series format has changed. The season is made up of 22 races, with the first 14 races making up a "regular season". After this, 16 drivers will qualify for the "playoffs", which is the last 8 races. (To be clear, all 32 drivers will race in all 22 races, whether they qualify or not.)

Qualification for the playoffs is awarded to every driver who wins one of the first 14 races of the season. The remaining spots are joined by the two win-less drivers with the highest point totals.

Each round of the playoffs will include a race at one track not featured in the first 14 "regular season" races, with the exception of the final Championship race. The remaining 5 races will be selected from the list of regular season tracks during the season.

Teams and Drivers

Manufacturer Team No. Driver Sponsor
Chevrolet
Prizm
Dixie Wimmer Inc.9Stumpy LaneGumBooze
40Jean-Paul HenryLudger Beer Bombs
51Richard BloodBOXAWYNE
SlapDong Corporate Racing15Kevin Boughner-PillmanDongerex InjectiPen
99DIRK TanakaSlapMart
(Independent)8Jeff Gordon the HorseGUNK
38Jeff ChineseJeff's Chinese
69Morris MayfieldNICE
Dodge
Stratus
Matryoshka Inc.1Vitaly KryptovGreybits
2Nikolai the Soviet Driving BearRUSSIAN BEARS 2 U
90Petrol TopovDmitri's Russian Roulette Laser Tag
South Tucson Youth Motorsports13542 NormanFlorida Georgia Lime
28Ennio SporiniWall To Wall Salve
60Big Daddy ThibodeauxTucsonade
Ford
Pinto
ATF/Bureau Racing21Cobb SaladLegalBetForRealMoney.gov
27Agent Toby KeithThroat Candy Tobacco Lozenges
47Joe-Jon WinchesterJust Guns
Sbubby Mortports00Paul WalkerNihilist Arby's
11Smiley van VuurenKFC "I Ate The Bones"
55Bucky DewshineTaco Baco
War Machine Racing4Giaccomo GiaccomoKISS
35Paul AlcoholBathhouse Jim's Bathtub Gin
(Independent)41Jim BlossomsPlasma Train
Pontiac
Bonneville
(Adjective) Foods81Fat DarrylAll The Ham
82Harry GuntSO MUCH CHICKEN
83Doug PorkGood Gravy
HTE BASMET Racing32Rickie WaltonTemecula Dirt
75El Matador Toto RosannaAir Supply
(Independent)103Wooba BallyHugger Oranges
Toyota
Yaris
Most Glorious Motorsports10Mr. Naga's Most Glorious DriverMost Glorious Mr. Naga/KUMITE
22Bowie JessupHCL
33Reverend PastorchavezYes!

Schedule

No. Race Title Track Date
1 Beefis 300 Diddler Motor Speedway, South Tucson, Arizona July 14, 2018
2 Tucsonade Dehydration Grand Prix The Actual Roads of South Tucson, South Tucson, Arizona July 15, 2018
3 A "Daytona" "500" Richard Petty Driving Experience, Daytona Beach, Florida July 19, 2018
4 We Put a Bat in Everybody's Car 200 Stoney Roberts Demolition Raceway, Dothan, Alabama July 22, 2018
5 Dyslexia Cares 005 Alternate Right Turn Speedway, Stone Mountain, Georgia July 29, 2018
6 300 Miles of Failure Piles The Crocodile Mile, Okefenokee Swamp, Florida August 5, 2018
7 Florida Man 400 Crystal Meth Speedway August 10, 2018
8 Akron Accident Prevention 500 WCW Hog Wild 1996 Speedway at Sturgis, Sturgis, South Dakota August 19, 2018
9 Ainsley Harriott 250 The Roundabout by Yes, Fawkham, England August 26, 2018
10 Toxic Masculinity 300 Too Far Speedway, Tulsa, Oklahoma September 3, 2018
11 Cinnafist 500 Strong Style King's Roadway, Tokyo, Japan September 9, 2018
12 The Notorious 187 Enjoy Stock Car Racing Ironically Speedway, Brooklyn, New York September 13, 2018
13 ReShart Code Brown Pants-Shitter 300 Die Poopenhosen, Durchfall, Germany September 16, 2018
14 TEXAS: The Race Actually TEXAS Motor Speedway, How Did They Let Us Do This, We Have A Driving Horse And A Bear And A Dang 13-year Old For Crying Out Loud, Fort Worth, TEXAS September 20, 2018
GumBooze Pointless Wreck-stravaganza Inconveniently Far From A Hospital Speedway, Scenic Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania September 22, 2018
Playoffs - First Round
15 Covergirl 500 RuPaul's Drag Strip, Boystown, Illinois October 14, 2018
16 Nihilist Arby's Endless Monotonous Loop Desolate Ellipse, Hell, Michigan October 21, 2018
17 Jesse James Du Prix The Actual Roads of South Tucson, South Tucson, Arizona TBD
Playoffs - Second Round
18 Parts Unknown 300 Those Two Pit Road Officials From The Stone Mountain Race Memorial Speedway, Langhorne, Pennsylvania TBD
19 Noxious Fumes 500 Alternate Right Turn Speedway, Stone Mountain, Georgia TBD
Playoffs - Semifinal Round
20 Flavorless 400 presented by Aspic Crystal Meth Speedway, Destin, Florida TBD
21 The Proclaimers' I Would Walk 500 ABBA: The Racetrack, The City of Europe TBD
Playoffs - Championship Round
22 Totally Nude 500 Scorch's Pretty Fucking Good Racetrack, Santa Monica, California TBD

Season Summary

Race Reports

Race 1: Beefis 300
The defending 2017 champion, Jean-Paul Henry, started on the pole, and led the first 15 laps of this 100-lap race before falling back into the lead pack. From there, Paul Alcohol led for the remaining 85 laps, holding off challenges from Paul Walker and Joe-Jon Winchester, to win the race.


Race 2: Tucsonade Dehydration Grand Prix
Richard Blood started on the pole, currently leading all drivers in Diddler Cup history with 4 career pole awards. However, it was Jeff Gordon The Horse that hit the start/finish line at the green flag to bring this race to a start. On lap 1, a small pack of 6 cars, led by two Matryoshka, Inc. drivers, Vitaly Kryptov and Petrol Topov, raced to the front and opened up a 5-second lead on the field. Joe-Jon Winchester, Rickie Walton, and rookie Bucky Dewshine followed the duo, along with Ennio Sporini who couldn't keep up after one lap, but ultimately, the breakaway was reeled in by the rest of the field. Cars started falling off, as Big Daddy Thibodeaux and Winchester spun out on a dangerous turn, making contact and sending them to pit road. Leading the race before pitting because a carousel, as Giaccomo Giaccomo, Wooba Bally, and Mr. Naga's Most Glorious Driver all led a lap before moving to pit road. Jeff Chinese retired from the race on Lap 8 of 12, after running into the back of Giaccomo Giaccomo. Reverend Pastorchavez would take the lead with 5 laps to go, only to lose it to Paul Alcohol for one lap before falling back off the pace. With 3 laps to go, four cars battled it out. Pastorchavez and Bowie Jessup from Most Glorious Motorsports battled with Richard Blood and Stumpy Lane of Dixie Wimmer Inc. On the second to last lap, the pair of MGM drivers made their attack, leaving the DWI cars in the dust. Pastorchavez and Jessup battled mildly on the final stretch, but Reverend Pastorchavez took the win over teammate Bowie Jessup, with Lane and Blood taking 3rd and 4th, holding off Paul Alcohol in fifth.


Race 3: A "Daytona" "500"
Giaccomo Giaccomo started on the pole, and brought the tightly contested field of drivers to the green flag. As the 32 cars built up speed, the two predominant lines became three and four wide, especially coming off of Turn 3. A total of 15 different drivers led the race, which was shortened to 56 laps due to the whole trespassing thing. As the laps dwindled down, green flag pit stops opened up a split in the field, with the top 10 drivers opening up a 7-second gap from the field. However, at lap 49, a caution came out with little explanation, as no cars wrecked or were off the pace. As all cars visited pit road under green flags, the field condensed for a 3-lap shootout at the restart. Rookie Cobb Salad, who led the most laps, including the ones under caution, drove like a veteran to hold off charges from Big Daddy Thibodeaux, Petrol Topov, and Morris Mayfield, to keep his lead, winning the checkered flag and the race.


Race 4: We Put A Bat In Everyone's Car 200
Bucky Dewshine started on the pole, and led for the first 40 laps of this chaotic 70-lap race on the slippery 0.4-mile dirt oval. Crashes were aplenty as cars taking the high line would get loose and slide up at Turn 3, aptly named "Batshit Corner". Of note, Ennio Sporini on lap 21 was flipped over, righted, and never pitted to repair. The lead changed four times, with five drivers earning the 5 bonus points: Richard Blood, Petrol Topov, Rickie Walton, and Mr. Naga's Most Glorious Driver, along with pole sitter Dewshine. Richard Blood's bat apparently gummed up his camshaft and, as he was leading in lap 49, was forced to end his race early. With four laps to go, Rickie Walton, holding off challenges from Topov, Mr. Naga's Most Glorious Driver, and DIRK Tanaka, spun out on Batshit Corner, but remained on the race track. His delay shrunk the gap between first and second, but did not do enough to keep the Temecula Dirt car from winning the race.


Race 5: Dyslexia Cares 005
Giaccomo Giaccomo started on the pole, along with Vitaly Kryptov. This was Giaccomo's 2nd pole this season already. The pack of 32 cars made it only 3 laps of the 61-lap race before disaster struck. While fighting for the lead, Giaccomo's #4 KISS Ford and Kryptov's #1 Greybits Dodge made contact, sending both cars tumbling up the side of the track, with Kryptov's car getting airborne until it landed square on the windshield of DIRK Tanaka's #99 Slapmart Chevy, bouncing and taking all 3 cars out of the race. During the caution, the first of 3 in the race, Kevin Boughner-Pillman and El Matador Toto Rosanna made contact and crashed into the wall while trying to catch up to the pace car. During this wreck, Reverend Pastorchavez had spent most of the race in the pits, only to return after the caution and spin out and crash at lap 11. Attrition was the theme of the race, as drivers dropped like flies, and 542 Norman's #13 Florida Georgia Lime Dodge left the race, the only retiring driver not due to a wreck. Oh, did we mention that Pastorchavez's wreck didn't bring out a caution? Yeah. They said fuck that. With 25 drivers still on the track, the field dwindled down even more, as lap 19 brought about a second caution, involving Big Daddy Thibodeaux, who saw the worst of it, ending his race, but also Wooba Bally, Rickie Walton, Doug Pork, Fat Darryl, Paul Alcohol, and Nikolai the Soviet Driving Bear. With 21 drivers left, and 3 trailing off the back, 18 drivers pushed forward with 40 laps still to go. Things turned tragic, then hilarious, then tragic, and then hilarious again, as Cobb Salad and Jeff Chinese wrecked on lap 31, careening into the pits and taking out the pit lane official. Cobb Salad was able to keep it together and stay in the race, but Chinese would end up a lap down with no yellow flag. Not long after, the tragic-hilarious cycle continued at lap 39, with a caution once more, this time taking out Stumpy Lane, who made contact with Doug Pork, also involving Morris Mayfield, and Agent Toby Keith, who continued to plow into Lane, taking him out of the race. With 20 laps to go, a pack of 11 cars battled for the win, trading the lead, until Paul Walker and Joe-Jon Winchester pushed to the front, with Petrol Topov, Jeff Gordon The Horse, and Jim Blossoms not far behind challenging. However, ultimately it was Winchester who had the speed coming out of the turns to push forward and pass Walker on the final lap to win the race, his 3rd career win and first of the season.


Race 6: 300 Miles of Failure Piles
Bucky Dewshine started on the pole, which was the 2nd pole this season for the rookie in the #55 Taco Baco Ford. However, Giaccomo Giaccomo, on the outside of the front row, found the stronger line quickly and rocketed past Dewshine to lead the first lap of the race. With Rickie Walton and Joe-Jon Winchester, two drivers who have already qualified for the playoffs, within reach, the #4 KISS car held the lead until Lap 34, starting the first of a set of green flag pit stops. However, as the leading group of drivers reached pit road, a caution came out on Lap 38 due to a crash involving Nikolai the Soviet Driving Bear and Paul Walker. With the restart, Vitaly Kryptov took the lead for the #1 Greybits team, and held onto that lead until the second set of green flag pit stops, at Lap 75 of the 120-lap race. However, just as this happened, Rickie Walton bumped the wall heading into the pits, and slammed his car directly into the divider, bringing out another caution. With the lead swapping around due to the yellow flag, the restart came with 42 laps to go, and Petrol Topov led the race in the #90 Dodge Stratus, after initially starting at the back of the field. After building a 5-second lead over the rest of the field, the final laps became a pit road strategy battle, as the leader had to make a quick stop with 6 laps to go. However, with Jim Blossoms leading the race, followed by Morris Mayfield, the leaders needed to pit as well, and the field cycled through once more, with Petrol Topov regaining the lead with 3 to go and held on to win the race.


Race 7: Florida Man 400
Stumpy Lane started on the pole, making him the last of the Dixie Wimmer, Inc drivers to have won a pole this season. With the opening stretch, the high line going into the first turn of the oddly-shaped track proved treacherous, with many cars scraping the wall coming out of Turn 1. Many drivers would jockey for the lead, confirming their 5 points, and retreating into the pack. The first caution came out at Lap 8, bringing out the caution, in a wreck in the middle that spun out Jim Blossoms but was mostly involving Kevin Boughner-Pillman, and seemingly caused by Smiley van Vuuren. At this point we started seeing crashes come as the race track took quite a bit to get used to. Lap 18 brought out the second caution, with Paul Alcohol sandwiched by DIRK Tanaka and Vitaly Kryptov, spinning like a top as the field slowed to caution speeds and pit road once more. Alcohol even got wrecked on his way off pit road, spun out after making contact with van Vuuren and Boughner-Pillman. Lap 27 brought out the yellow once more, with Doug Pork thrown down into the infield in a giant wreck, where the Florida Man Mystery Hole claimed a few victims. After these three wrecks, the race began to settle until "the big one" hit at the very end of the race. With Wooba Bally taking the lead with two laps to go, into the white flag, a final lap caution caused enough chaos to bring out the yellow flag but allow the race to finish, where Fat Darryl crashed into Jim Blossoms and Doug Pork, along with Paul Walker. The finish was mired with controversy, as DIRK Tanaka fired himself up past Bally, who lost his draft, into second. With teammate Ennio Sporini, laps down, pushing him forward, Big Daddy Thibodeaux took the low line to finish ahead of Tanaka and Bally and win the race.


Race 8: Akron Accident Prevention 500
Richard Blood started on the pole for the second time this season in the #51 BOXAWYNE Chevy. Just as the command to start engines was given, and the pace car led the field, Wooba Bally's car immediately had to be brought to the pits, never starting the race, after a stellar qualifying effort, starting third but not qualifying for any points. As is the typical case on these huge superspeedways, the lead changed multiple times with cars going as many as five or six wide in and out of the turns. However, the massive track of over 4 miles long was incredibly wide, giving plenty of room to move, especially into the highly-banked turns. The first sign of trouble came at Lap 10 of 42, with Mr. Naga's Most Glorious Driver sliding up the track into Doug Pork and Vitaly Kryptov, pushing them into the wall, and involving several other drivers behind. The ten cars involved visited pit road, and Joe-Jon Winchester, Nikolai the Soviet Driving Bear, Mr. Naga's Most Glorious Driver, and Harry Gunt. The restart came with 28 laps to go, as the lead pack dwindled down to 22, with many cars falling off the pace. The dreaded split of the pack came at the halfway point, Lap 21, when Petrol Topov was put a lap down, and caused many of the cars to brake check and fall behind, dropping the lead pack to 12. Lap 22 brought on the first wave of green flag pit stops, with Bucky Dewshine and Cobb Salad taking a huge lead over the field at Lap 25, running well enough to have speed after the only wreck, but having pitted during the caution. This strategy only lasted for so long, as both Salad and Dewshine had to pit at Lap 34 to refuel. The final 8 laps became a six-car race, with DIRK Tanaka and Kevin Boughner-Pillman trading the lead for SlapDong Corporate Racing, along with Smiley van Vuuren and Dewshine for Sbubby Mortports, and El Matador Toto Rosanna and Agent Toby Keith. Seventh place was a battle, with the pack of 13 cars almost five seconds off the lead. Dewshine's attempt to keep pace faded with 4 laps to go, and Kevin Boughner-Pillman took the white flag. With the help of his teammate DIRK Tanaka, who finished fourth, managing the front of the field, Boughner-Pillman held a tenth of a second over van Vuuren in second to win the race.


Race 9: Ainsley Harriott 250
Paul Alcohol started on the pole in the #35 Bathhouse Jim's Bathtub Gin Ford Pinto on this circular short track. Immediately from the start, issues with Cobb Salad, who qualified 3rd, caused a logjam on the inside line, mixed with the speed of the preferred high line on the track. Paul Walker, the outside pole, ended up leading the first lap, with Alcohol dropping down to 10th, and falling to 24th within the first ten laps. Kevin Boughner-Pillman was the class of the early stages, dragging youngster 542 Norman and Paul Walker with him and opening up a 14-second lead over the field. About 24 laps in, lap traffic expanded the front pack to eight cars, but Kevin Boughner-Pillman pushed back into the lead until the first caution at Lap 37. Bucky Dewshine and Jeff Gordon The Horse, both behind lapped cars Wooba Bally, got a little too close, pushing Bally up into the wall along with El Matador Toto Rosanna, who was running in 5th at the time. DIRK Tanaka led the race on the restart at Lap 43 for a short bit, as the second caution only came 4 or 5 laps later, involving Fat Darryl who crashed into Wooba Bally, having the worst day. Third caution came out at Lap 67, with Doug Pork sandwiched between Paul Walker and Bucky Dewshine. Tanaka continued to hold the lead with 28 laps to go, but cautions were what plagued the race, as even under caution Agent Toby Keith missed pit lane and put his own car into the inside wall. With 22 laps to go, Tanaka continue to lead these short runs, as a caution at Lap 86 involving Doug Pork and Paul Walker slowed the race once more. However, one final wreck at Lap 96 froze the field and finished the race under caution. Smiley van Vuuren spun out Mr. Naga's Most Glorious Driver, which brought out the caution, and allowed DIRK Tanaka to hold his lead and win the race.


Race 10: Toxic Masculinity 300
Richard Blood won the pole, his third of the year, in the #51 BOXAWYNE Chevy. Then the chaos began, with THE HUMP causing not as much chaos as expected. However, early on, Ennio Sporini hit the pit wall on Lap 4, causing a huge wreck also involving Paul Walker, Wooba Bally, DIRK Tanaka, and Cobb Salad. The track also claimed other casualties including Stumpy Lane, Kevin-Boughner Pillman, and Reverend Pastorchavez, who all saw their positions suffer and their cars fall down the rankings. By lap 21, the race was made official, and a pack of 8 cars led the race with a chance at winning, but mostly, the lead was held by Giaccomo Giaccomo and Paul Alcohol, both War Machine Racing drivers. Lap 27 saw the 8 whittle down to 5, as Smiley van Vuuren, Big Daddy Thibodeaux, and Morris Mayfield dropped off the pace. However, on Lap 29, race leader Giaccomo Giaccomo and Nikolai the Soviet Driving Bear were involved in an accident that sent the bear clean off the racetrack. The impact of the wreck caused the track itself to begin degraded before our very eyes. Before any further catastrophes occurred, Diddler Cup officials called the race at 28 laps, and based on the last completed lap, Giaccomo Giaccomo was declared the winner.


Race 11: Cinnafist 500
Agent Toby Keith started on the pole, with the rookie and country music singer showing he was "big in Japan" on the tri-oval superspeedway. With speeds hitting 220 mph, the third lap spelled disaster for Big Daddy Thibodeaux, Cobb Salad, Bucky Dewshine, and a few cars at the front including Rickie Walton and Reverend Pastorchavez, as well as Agent Toby Keith. Seven cars had to end their race prematurely at the restart, with the lead alternating as is customary on the superspeedway. By Lap 11 of the 45-lap race, a pack of 14 cars pulled ahead to race for position and maintain the high speed as it climbed to 180 mph. Lap 19 brought chaos as the leaders had trouble making it to the elevated pit road of Strong Style King's Roadway, including a crash between teammates Smiley van Vuuren and Paul Walker that didn't even bring out a caution until a lap later as everyone realized what the hell happened. The restart came at Lap 22, with Giaccomo Giaccomo padded with lapped cars, and the front pack grew back to 17, with all other drivers either out or down a lap. With 20 laps to go, Ennio Sporini, 542 Norman, Paul Walker, and Joe-Jon Winchester, who led during caution, could not keep pace and fell back from the lead pack, eventually joined by Bucky Dewshine who was involved in the wreck earlier, and Giaccomo Giaccomo with 12 laps to go. A handful of the leaders opted to pit with 11 laps to go, with the four cars that stayed out waiting a lap to make the last sprint. However, Jim Blossoms, already a lap down, completely missed pit lane, bringing out a caution with 10 laps to go, one that would have put him back on the lead lap if he wasn't part of the caution itself. The restart came with 7 laps to go, with Paul Alcohol trying to hold off Wooba Bally, but losing the lead to El Matador Toto Rosanna. Richard Blood took the lead after battling Wooba Bally and 8 other cars, including Jeff Chinese, who took the white flag, held off 9 other contenders, with Paul Alcohol the last of the challengers, to win the race and be the first independent race team to qualify for the playoffs.


Race 12: The Notorious 187
Rickie Walton started on the pole, with Joe-Jon Winchester on the outside of the first row. The small track with no banked turns did not allow for much room to pass, and so these impatient drivers had to be incredibly patient. About ten laps in, Jim Blossoms worked his way from the first few rows to lead the race. While Blossoms was able to extend his lead, the battle for second place around the midway point had Giaccomo Giaccomo and Paul Walker trading the spot. With 15 laps to go, green flag pit stops began, mostly for fuel as well as fresh tires. El Matador Toto Rosanna and Paul Alcohol took the lead for the moment before finding themselves to pit lane as well, and the field cycled through with 8 laps to go and Jim Blossoms leading once more, with Paul Walker 8 seconds behind, but solidifying second place in the pit lanes, gaining 3 to 4 seconds over Giaccomo, who held third place safely. However, it was Jim Blossoms returning to victory lane, taking the #41 Plasma Train Ford Pinto into victory lane.


Race 13: ReShart Code Brown Pants-Shitter 400
Jean-Paul Henry started on the pole for the second time this season, but trouble began immediately as his engine failed at the starting command. However, he was able to race to the green flag and score points, though it was in last place of the race. That meant Reverend Pastorchavez brought the cars to the green flag on the outside of the front row, with Fat Darryl effectively taking the place at the front of the inside on this 4.2-mile oval road course. With only 28 laps, hitting The Brown Note perfectly was essential, as was proven by Nikolai the Soviet Driving Bear tumbling end over end on the second lap, with Bucky Dewshine and Wooba Bally spinning out and splitting the field up on Lap 3. Fat Darryl led the race from the start, but let's be honest, it's all about the wrecks. Kevin Boughner-Pillman got flipped after making contact with Jim Blossoms and Joe-Jon Winchester. Fat Darryl, Giaccomo Giaccomo, Ennio Sporini, and El Matador Toto Rosanna pulled away as the front four, with the #4 car taking over the lead on Lap 8 as they began encountering lapped traffic. Chaos came to Lap 13, as the pack of cars running 5th through 12th couldn't maneuver The Brown Note, with Jim Blossoms sliding into Vitaly Kryptov. However, 542 Norman, the youngest driver in the field at 13 years old, clipped Petrol Topov, sending both cars into the left side wall, causing the child to flip before making contact with Jeff Chinese. He might be dead. Uh... back to our leaders, Fat Darryl started to fade from the pack, leaving the lead at 3. That lead dropped to 2 with 12 to go as Ennio Sporini and Bowie Jessup, a lap down, made contact on The Brown Note, but it was Sporini saving the car expertly, leaving Rosanna to end up in the wall and out of contention for the lead. Each leader visited pit road with 10 laps to go, but Giaccomo was able to finesse the race track, including perfect runs on The Brown Note, to keep distance from Ennio Sporini in second place, never letting the gap drop below 2.5 seconds, to become the first driver this season to get his second win.


Race 14: TEXAS: The Race
Paul Alcohol started on the pole in the #35 Ford Pinto sponsored by Bathhouse Jim's Bathtub Gin, and took off to a lead of almost two seconds over the rest of the field. However, by lap 28, Paul Walker, Richard Blood, and Jean-Paul Henry caught up to the #35 car, only for Alcohol to pull away again. By Lap 53 of 84, Alcohol, Henry, and Blood all took their green flag pit stop, while Paul Walker stayed out to lead a lap for five valuable points. However, it was Alcohol taking control of the entire race, leading until the last two laps, when Richard Blood was right on his tail for the final lap. Blood came so close, trying to make a look on the low side, but Paul Alcohol held on for the win. Meanwhile, Richard Blood pulled off the track, crashing his vehicle in frustration along with many other drivers who ended up causing the biggest moment of the race after the checkered flag. However, Blood, along with teammate Henry, Walker, and Morris Mayfield, were able to qualify for the playoffs on points, along with the season's 12 race winners.


GumBooze Pointless Wreck-stravaganza
I mean... fuck you want me to say? Loads of crashes. Someone may or may not have died? It was a god damned figure 8 track. We did it before the playoffs, and had to delay them because pretty much everybody was forced into a medically-induced coma after. Just... just watch it. Oh, and there was another fucking Florida-Georgia Line cover band. But Mr. Naga's Most Glorious Driver won the race, which I think basically just gave him better medical care.


Race 15: Covergirl 500
Jean-Paul Henry began the playoffs with another pole, and started on the front row alongside El Matador Toto Rosanna. Caution came out immediately, with a wreck involving a handful of cars, but none of them playoff cars. Lap 6 brought the green flag back out, but Henry gave away the lead on the top line to Ennio Sporini. Lap 11 brought another caution out, with Smiley van Vuuren's #11 KFC I Ate The Bones Ford getting spun out with nothing really dragging anyone else into the wreck. The green flag was waved on Lap 16 of 67, and remained out for the remainder of the race. Agent Toby Keith took the lead from Ennio Sporini, along with other playoff contenders like DIRK Tanaka, Jeff Chinese, and Giaccomo Giaccomo moving to the front. Green-flag pit stops cycled the field around, with Henry and Giaccomo taking the lead for five points, and Henry taking the lead with 30 laps to go before Morris Mayfield took the lead for five laps. However, fuel was potentially an issue looming overhead that would spell disaster for some drivers. DIRK Tanaka took the lead again, trading it with a handful of other cars on the final stretch, but Paul Alcohol, who had been running loose all day, made his way to the front with only a few laps to go. Henry, Sporini, and Bowie Jessup made a late charge, but several cars dropped to pit road to avoid running out of fuel on the final lap. However, Paul Alcohol took his third win of the season, second in a row, and moved himself to the Round of 12.


Race 16: Nihilist Arby's Endless Monotonous Loop
Race scheduled for October 21, 2018.

Results and Standings

Race Results

No. Race Pole Winner Race Winner
1 Beefis 300 Jean-Paul Henry 35 Paul Alcohol
2 Tucsonade Dehydration Grand Prix Richard Blood 33 Reverend Pastorchavez
3 A "Daytona" "500" Giaccomo Giaccomo 21 Cobb Salad
4 We Put a Bat in Everybody's Car 200 Bucky Dewshine 32 Rickie Walton
5 Dyslexia Cares 005 Giaccomo Giaccomo 47 Joe-Jon Winchester
6 300 Miles of Failure Piles Bucky Dewshine 90 Petrol Topov
7 Florida Man 400 Stumpy Lane 60 Big Daddy Thibodeaux
8 Akron Accident Prevention 500 Richard Blood 15 Kevin Boughner-Pillman
9 Ainsley Harriott 250 Paul Alcohol 99 Dirk Tanaka
10 Toxic Masculinity 300 Richard Blood 4 Giaccomo Giaccomo
11 Cinnafist 500 Agent Toby Keith 38 Jeff Chinese
12 The Notorious 187 Rickie Walton 41 Jim Blossoms
13 ReShart Code Brown Pants-Shitter 300 Jean-Paul Henry 4 Giaccomo Giaccomo
14 TEXAS: The Race Paul Alcohol 35 Paul Alcohol
GumBooze Pointless Wreck-stravaganza N/A 10 Mr. Naga's Most Glorious Driver
Diddler Cup Playoffs - Round of 16
15 Covergirl 500 Jean-Paul Henry 35 Paul Alcohol
16 Nihilist Arby's Endless Monotonous Loop
17 Jesse James Du Prix
Diddler Cup Playoffs - Round of 12
18 Parts Unknown 300
19 Noxious Fumes 500
Diddler Cup Playoffs - Round of 8
20 Flavorless 400 presented by Aspic
21 The Proclaimers' I Would Walk 500
Diddler Cup Playoffs - Final Race
22 Totally Nude 500

Driver Standings

Pos Driver 1234567891011121314 1516171819202122Pts
1#35Paul Alcohol1**5*142715222917*418*3**14*91**1* 4252
2#40Jean-Paul Henry4*6112513*12*26*7*227*93253* 4205
3#4Giaccomo Giaccomo1319*28*103128*8**9251**6*31**189* 4194
4#32Rickie Walton1611121*2229*1310314266*11175 4180
5#51Richard Blood6420*32*7*1011*14*283*2*312826 4179
6#90Petrol Topov1820*32*3*1**2427*182011*10182510 4172
7#00Paul Walker21015*212**3216*88*2914*233*12 4172
8#60Big Daddy Thibodeaux312822325241*1224724425327 4170
9#38Jeff Chinese93221*24202518*2329221*1921198 4160
10#69Morris Mayfield2974817*2286*21810*17171611* 4150
11#41Jim Blossoms272413*205*4*20191616231**201115 4143
12#99DIRK Tanaka2199*330172*4*1**30202319621* 4143
13#47Joe-Jon Winchester330*16*301*8*6*28*232312*11241216 4141
14#33Reverend Pastorchavez201**1815265*5*26222427*22122923 4118
15#21Cobb Salad28271**2811*1812*21*31323030152029 4096
16#15Kevin Boughner-Pillman24143222286311*15*263221232332 4084
Cutoff for the Diddler Cup Playoffs
17#81Fat Darryl52519*1219721*1130101574*413 1888
18#28Ennio Sporini10187*1910302715*13251715292* 1837
19#27Agent Toby Keith232657141414*3*952818132720** 1818
20#55Bucky Dewshine15228*6**6237*16**1221162026724 1809
21#11Smiley van Vuuren112126*51294*2*1762532142228 1794
22#75"El Matador" Toto Rosanna321327*292915175*1099*8*61025 1754
23#83Doug Pork258231316269*2452752571317 1744
24#13542 Norman7156*11273*251811*111313312831 1735
25#22Bowie Jessup142101881932*222613222730144 1693
26#8Jeff Gordon, The Horse191724264*2022207172116103114 1660
27#1Vitaly Kryptov1229301632*11*10*25*612182952119 1653
28#10Mr. Naga's Most Glorious Driver3012*294*9*1323*2920151924221527 1608
29#9Stumpy Lane83313121*273013*2728*3158826 1591
30#103Wooba Bally1723*25*1724*163*DNS19304*12272618* 1546
31#82Harry Gunt261622918*2119*301419826293022 1533
32#2Nikolai the Soviet Driving Bear2231171423*3115*313242928162430 1423

A * indicates the driver led at least one lap during the race, for an additional 5 bonus points. A second * indicates the driver led the most laps during the race, for 5 bonus points in addition to the previous 5 points.

Manufacturers' Standings

Pos Manufacturer WinsPoints
1Ford82630
2Chevy32517
3Dodge22359
4Pontiac12138
5Toyota12003

Playoff Grid

Pos Driver To cut off line
1#35Paul Alcohol1 Win
2#40Jean-Paul Henry+62
3#4Giaccomo Giaccomo+51
4#32Rickie Walton+37
5#51Richard Blood+36
6#00Paul Walker+29
7#90Petrol Topov+29
8#60Big Daddy Thibodeaux+27
9#38Jeff Chinese+17
10#69Morris Mayfield+7
11#41Jim Blossoms+2
12#99DIRK Tanaka+2
13#47Joe-Jon Winchester-2
14#33Reverend Pastorchavez-25
15#21Cobb Salad-47
16#15Kevin Boughner-Pillman-59
    : Locked into the Next Round
    : Below the Cut Line
    : Eliminated from the Playoffs



IRM Programming
Wrestling/MMA Coming soon...
South Tucson Youth Football Seasons: 2016 - 2016-17 - 2017-18 - 2018-19
Corso Cup: 2017
Info:Team List
Diddler Cup Racing Series Seasons: 2017 - 2018
Info: Drivers - Cars - Teams - Track List
Inactive/Defunct
Wrestling/MMA/Boxing HCL - KUMITE
WCW Universe Mode (WWE '12) - G-1-900-909-9900 - Indie Fight Club
TUFFGUY Competition
Youth Sports South Tucson Little League World Series (2013, 2014) - Durham County CYO (2014)
Other Sports Big F'N Trucks (2013) - Cricket American Style 1 - 2014 6 Balls Championship - In Your Horse - Rugby Every Week - Whole Lotta Bull - World Series of Degenerate Gambling